Make New Friends but Keep the Old

Make new friends  but keep the old

One is silver and the other's gold

Those are part of the lyrics to a song I used to sing when I was in Girl Scouts many, many years ago. Since that time, I have learned just how true the meaning of that song can be.

There are all kinds of friends and levels of friends. Some people are friends for a season; others are friends for a reason. There are acquaintances, co-workers, group friends, close friends, best friends, ex-friends, etc.  I think we need all of the friends we can have in our lives. I've been thinking about friendship lately as I have had the chance to spend time with several friends I haven't seen for years. Have you thought about how our friendships change over the course of our lives?

Childhood

This is the first point in your life when you don't have much choice in the friends that you have. I remember playing with the kids in my neighborhood. We hung out together because we lived in the same area. Not any of those people are my friends now and I wouldn't have it any other way. Many of them were not especially nice even back then. But by interacting with these neighbors I had to learn skills of cooperation, reaching out to others, self- protection, and learning that every household had their own rules and ways of doing things. So, ultimately good things came out of those early years.

School Years

Once in school, we have more of a selection of people to choose from to be our friends. We tend to choose people who are similar to ourselves or who have similar interests. I was not a popular kid back then, I was frumpy, dumpy, and had ethnic, fresh off the boat, parents. I felt like an outsider from day one and tended to gravitate toward others who felt like outsiders. That's probably not a great reason to be friends. I am not currently in contact or friends with most of those folks either.

Young Adult Years

Ah, the best  years of our lives, we are told. Yes, they were fun times before children and responsibilities took priority in life. I remember great Bible study groups and shared times of worship and recreation. This is the time of my life where I felt alive, where I began to have friends and make friends because we really liked to spend time together. Many of those people are still good friends in my life, maybe not daily contact friends, but we still get together a few times a year at least. We were in each other's weddings, attending baby showers, and helped each other move from apartments to houses.

Babies, Church, and Work 

Life moves on. We get married, have babies and tend to hang out with other young parents. As our
children grow and move into other stages, we cultivate family friends where we can include our kids as part of our social times. This includes the school years for our kids as we participate in school activities or homeschooling in my case.  We go to church and get involved in the programs and activities there. We take a job and spend a good portion of our day with people who may have nothing more in common with us than the fact that we were both hired to work at the same company.  Still we collect more friends. Some of these remain as acquaintances, some true friends, and others become more intimate friends, moving beyond the circumstantial limitations.

On Top of the Hill

At some point in life, when our kids are grown, when some of our friends have passed away, and still others have moved away, we find that our circle of close friends may be shrinking. I thinking making close friends takes time, having shared experiences that bond people together. This is where I am at this point. I cherish every friend that has stayed in my life thus far. Some people are not friends with  whom I keep in daily contact, but I notice with some amazement how we can get together and pick up our friendship as if years and miles have not separated our lives.

This is not the time of life to rest our friend making skills. We may find ourselves in a new job, a new church, or even a new city. We might need to polish our friend making skills, inviting people out to lunch or over for coffee and dessert. It may take more effort but we can't give up. We need the old friends and the new friends, as the song says. It is not good to be alone.

Down in the Valley

I'm not there yet, but some day if I live long enough, I may need friends to see me through my senior years. I expect to stay in touch with my friends forever. Perhaps we can visit those who moved away.  I may be needing friends to attend my funeral. But don't count on me being around to see that event. Once I am gone from this earth, I will be with my friend who is closer than a brother, the one who knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb, the lover of my soul, Jesus.